Like many people, issues of mental heath and tragic violence have been on my mind. People have been talking about it on Facebook, and I have started to hope that we can finally have a serious and productive conversation about tragedy, and how we can best prevent one.
Recently, we've heard from a mother who sees echos of Adam Lanza in her own son as he grows. Wonkette wrote a compelling piece on the failure of the public discourse to engage with what she said in a meaningful or constructive manner. And then a doctor charged to heal those who are mentally ill spoke out, with a very clear and poginiant cry for help.
I am not Adam Lanza's father or his brother, or his teacher, or the tragic young man himself. But I can imagine him, and I can try to imagine what it might be like to be another young man facing mental illness.
I can only imagine how scary and frustrating it must be to alone in
a mind that is not truly your own.
Especially in a society that is so uncomfortable with looking at you we only talk about extremes or after tragedy, when we can safely describe the person as other than ourselves, a monster.
I
can only imagine what it would be like to know that I might harm
someone around me, and know that there would be no one to help, or to
stop me, until it was already too late.
I think that would be more terrifying and lonely than anything I have known in my life.
Monday, December 17, 2012
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
There's no wrong time to do the right thing.
Marriage Equality is certainly in the news today with both some good and bad news, and in my opinion the two events aren't unrelated.
So on the one hand, we have North Carolina's latest move in the ongoing worst state in the Union competition: Amendment 1. It's pretty shameful and despicable that the people of North Carolina would decide to single out a group of people for discrimination and write that bigotry into their very constitution.
But the fact that they feel it necessary to go to such lengths is itself a sign of their waning influence. The writing is on the wall and gallup polls have begun to consistently show that a plurality support equal rights for LGBT Americans, and that plurality is growing. The bigots are running scared, and are doing everything they can to get their bigoted laws on the books now, because in a few years they won't have the political capital to do even that.
In their desperation, I think supporters of Amendment 1 in North Carolina may have done more to harm their cause than help it. Amendment 1 is pretty flagrantly a direct act of discrimination, and when it is challenged (and it will be) the battle to defend it will be a difficult one. Being an amendment to the state's constitution, it's pretty well entrenched, but that might just make it the key to getting a universal federal ruling in favor of Marriage Equality.
Armchair speculation aside, I do think it's already triggered positive action elsewhere. Specifically, the Oval Office.
President Obama's public statement in support of Marriage Equality couldn't be better timed in my opinion, and serves as a direct counterpoint to the demoralizing influence of North Carolina's Amendment 1 passing. My more cynical friends worry that it's a political maneuver in an election year -which, of course, it is- but I don't think that makes it insincere or diminishes how good it is he said it.
First off, it's simply the right thing to do, and I don't think there is a wrong time to do the right thing. Should he have made this declaration sooner? Yeah, but better today than tomorrow.
I've also seen friends worry that taking a stand on Marriage Equality will hurt his chances of re-election. I think that remains to be seen, but honestly I think it will help more than it hurts. President Obama's always been a moderate, but when he was elected many progressives thought they had put a much more liberal man in the White House, and as a result were somewhat disillusioned when he failed to live up to their expectations.
Standing up for Marriage Equality gives a lot of progressives a reason to be excited about the prospect of four more years of an Obama administration, and that's very important. Simply being scared of what a Romney administration might bring isn't as strong a motivator, in my opinion. And having another positive reason to support Obama should help with fundraising.
Will it also motivate homophobes to vote against President Obama? Sure, some. But honestly, they were never going to vote for him in the first place, and I think the net result still tips in the President's favor.
So on the whole, I'm feeling pretty good about the outlook for LGBT rights and the upcoming presidential election. And it's about damn time.
So on the one hand, we have North Carolina's latest move in the ongoing worst state in the Union competition: Amendment 1. It's pretty shameful and despicable that the people of North Carolina would decide to single out a group of people for discrimination and write that bigotry into their very constitution.
But the fact that they feel it necessary to go to such lengths is itself a sign of their waning influence. The writing is on the wall and gallup polls have begun to consistently show that a plurality support equal rights for LGBT Americans, and that plurality is growing. The bigots are running scared, and are doing everything they can to get their bigoted laws on the books now, because in a few years they won't have the political capital to do even that.
In their desperation, I think supporters of Amendment 1 in North Carolina may have done more to harm their cause than help it. Amendment 1 is pretty flagrantly a direct act of discrimination, and when it is challenged (and it will be) the battle to defend it will be a difficult one. Being an amendment to the state's constitution, it's pretty well entrenched, but that might just make it the key to getting a universal federal ruling in favor of Marriage Equality.
Armchair speculation aside, I do think it's already triggered positive action elsewhere. Specifically, the Oval Office.
President Obama's public statement in support of Marriage Equality couldn't be better timed in my opinion, and serves as a direct counterpoint to the demoralizing influence of North Carolina's Amendment 1 passing. My more cynical friends worry that it's a political maneuver in an election year -which, of course, it is- but I don't think that makes it insincere or diminishes how good it is he said it.
First off, it's simply the right thing to do, and I don't think there is a wrong time to do the right thing. Should he have made this declaration sooner? Yeah, but better today than tomorrow.
I've also seen friends worry that taking a stand on Marriage Equality will hurt his chances of re-election. I think that remains to be seen, but honestly I think it will help more than it hurts. President Obama's always been a moderate, but when he was elected many progressives thought they had put a much more liberal man in the White House, and as a result were somewhat disillusioned when he failed to live up to their expectations.
Standing up for Marriage Equality gives a lot of progressives a reason to be excited about the prospect of four more years of an Obama administration, and that's very important. Simply being scared of what a Romney administration might bring isn't as strong a motivator, in my opinion. And having another positive reason to support Obama should help with fundraising.
Will it also motivate homophobes to vote against President Obama? Sure, some. But honestly, they were never going to vote for him in the first place, and I think the net result still tips in the President's favor.
So on the whole, I'm feeling pretty good about the outlook for LGBT rights and the upcoming presidential election. And it's about damn time.
Sunday, May 6, 2012
Form is temporary...
Even as a fairly recent Manchester City supporter, I'm no stranger to the club's propensity to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. Which is part of why I am so strongly disinclined to prematurely crown ourselves the Premier League Champions, but that's not the only reason.
It also would be the sort of behavior I've come to expect from a Manchester United supporter and I'd like to be as dissimilar to a ManU fan as possible.
My friends and I are part of a small, but growing contingent of City supporters frequenting a nearby English Pub here in Seattle. There are usually only 3-5 of us at most games, since many of us have to work on the weekends. This morning saw the usual suspects all seated happily in our regular booth, right beneath the big TV. Directly behind us, however, was a pair of new faces, both proudly sporting brand new United shirts.
Now there's nothing surprising about seeing a United supporter show up to catch a City match, especially when their fate depends on us dropping points. That being said, I can't help but smile when I hear the inevitable jeers. And razzing one's rival is part of the fun, so I generally don't mind the exchange too much.
There is one line, though, that always tilts my head a bit:
You can't buy class!
Do they suppose Sir Alex purchased his squad at a rummage sale using money from his summer job at the Car Wash?
But more than that is the underlying assumption that class is a quality that they are qualified to speak to, being the classiest act around.
Funny, I wouldn't consider shouting out your sour grapes during a match the mark of a classy fan.
It seems to me like many Manchester United supporters feel entitled to victory, as though it were theirs by right, on the merit of their club's history alone. I've seen reds squall and fuss like petulant children denied a sweet when they failed to make it out of the group stage of the Champions League, and after their 6-1 defeat at Old Trafford I heard every manner of excuse and equivocation, everything short of acknowledging United was outplayed in a fair fight.
Don't get me wrong, I've heard things from City fans that I do not approve of, Munich chants in particular are completely unacceptable. And I've certainly seen admirable conduct from United supporters, often the old guard; the type that's there every weekend without having checked the results of the match beforehand.
I particularly remember a white-bearded gentleman, wearing red from top to bottom walking over and shaking my hand when we beat them in the FA Cup semi-final last year.
That was super classy.
That was the act of a man who saw past the outcome he would have liked, saw what a huge win it was for the blue half of Manchester, and understood that congratulating a rival's hard-won success takes nothing away from your side.
So I guess what I'm trying to say is that saying you've got class is, at the very best, redundant.
Form is temporary...
Class is self-evident.
It also would be the sort of behavior I've come to expect from a Manchester United supporter and I'd like to be as dissimilar to a ManU fan as possible.
My friends and I are part of a small, but growing contingent of City supporters frequenting a nearby English Pub here in Seattle. There are usually only 3-5 of us at most games, since many of us have to work on the weekends. This morning saw the usual suspects all seated happily in our regular booth, right beneath the big TV. Directly behind us, however, was a pair of new faces, both proudly sporting brand new United shirts.
Now there's nothing surprising about seeing a United supporter show up to catch a City match, especially when their fate depends on us dropping points. That being said, I can't help but smile when I hear the inevitable jeers. And razzing one's rival is part of the fun, so I generally don't mind the exchange too much.
There is one line, though, that always tilts my head a bit:
You can't buy class!
Do they suppose Sir Alex purchased his squad at a rummage sale using money from his summer job at the Car Wash?
But more than that is the underlying assumption that class is a quality that they are qualified to speak to, being the classiest act around.
Funny, I wouldn't consider shouting out your sour grapes during a match the mark of a classy fan.
It seems to me like many Manchester United supporters feel entitled to victory, as though it were theirs by right, on the merit of their club's history alone. I've seen reds squall and fuss like petulant children denied a sweet when they failed to make it out of the group stage of the Champions League, and after their 6-1 defeat at Old Trafford I heard every manner of excuse and equivocation, everything short of acknowledging United was outplayed in a fair fight.
Don't get me wrong, I've heard things from City fans that I do not approve of, Munich chants in particular are completely unacceptable. And I've certainly seen admirable conduct from United supporters, often the old guard; the type that's there every weekend without having checked the results of the match beforehand.
I particularly remember a white-bearded gentleman, wearing red from top to bottom walking over and shaking my hand when we beat them in the FA Cup semi-final last year.
That was super classy.
That was the act of a man who saw past the outcome he would have liked, saw what a huge win it was for the blue half of Manchester, and understood that congratulating a rival's hard-won success takes nothing away from your side.
So I guess what I'm trying to say is that saying you've got class is, at the very best, redundant.
Form is temporary...
Class is self-evident.
Saturday, October 11, 2008
State of the Llyw-nion
So I'm gonna talk about myself.
I mean, that's what most blogs are, and that's why most of them are...well, not boring but -interchangeable. Most people aren't boring, not when you get to know them at least, but people are often interchangeable.
The other big problem I have with talking about oneself is that it's easy to become unable to talk about anything else. And I can't stand that. It's why I don't like most Woody Allen movies, there all just huge self-portraits, and no matter how expertly you paint him, Woody Allen is an ugly, wormy, whiny dude.
But at least he has his talent and craftsmanship to mitigate how annoying he is.
And finally, I really don't like talking about myself because I think telling people what to think of you is worse than a waste of time. People say "I'm really nit-picky" or "I'm always doing that"
Self-descriptions don't have much of a point, or at least they don't have their intended point. Statements that intend to instruct people on how they should see the speaker fail. You can tell someone how you perceive yourself, but you can't tell people how to see you. Or at least I think you shouldn't.
In short, I think you should often just let yourself speak for itself.
That being said I'm going to suppress my 'don't talk about myself' impulse, for a bit and give a run-down of how I'm doing and what's going on with me. And maybe you will read it and give a damn.
Ladies and gentlemen, the state of our Llyw-nion is one of recovery.
2007 sucked. I left Japan, feeling strong and got socked in the gut for my overconfidence.
2008 began with a repeat of the same arc as 2007 but this time over a four-day-timespan. But I do think I came out of things wiser than I went into them.
I stopped working in Pike Place Market and started working for Big Fish Games at about the halfway point of this year. This was a big positive change.
Not that the Market wasn't cool, mind you, it was. But it's was never a permanent thing, and it had gone on more than long enough.
So I came to work for Big Fish, it's been a bit over four months and I've been hired on full-time. I did really well at first, then hit a rough patch in September and now I'm hitting my stride again, In fact I think that I may be performing better than ever.
Which is a relief, because honestly, my life has been too much about my job lately. It's so easy to get caught up in your job, I think, and then distract yourself when you're away from it with shiny objects the distract you from the fact that you're choosing your job over the things you really want.
But this is the first job I've ever had that actually has a career attached to it. Americorps was cool, but you can only do it for two years, and while I would have dug working at Tempest I had a lot of growing up to do before I would have been a true asset there, and while I was off doing it Tempest collapsed.
Japan was awesome, but ECC was not a tenable career. While there are things that I enjoyed and valued about that job, I remember how fed up with it I was by the time I left, I can only imagine what another two years would have done to me. And coming back has given me a lot of perspecive.
The Market was crazy, quirky, and taught me things I didn't expect to learn. But there are shop-boys and boys who happen to work in shops for the time being, and from the begining it was understood that I was the latter.
So now I have a job that is less of a place to tread water and more of a path to walk down. I don't how far it will take me, but it's nice to see it extend out to the horizon.
And, as my grandmother likes to say, money is always consoling.
Now that I feel like I'm doing well enough at work to feel safe turning my attention to other matters, I do see that I've gained a good position to make progress in other fields and on other goals.
So I'm making myself write more. I plan to post on this blog at least once a week in either English or Japanese.
I'm going to either take advantage of the cheap gym membership I get from working at Big Fish and see what a regular excercise menu written up with the help of someone who knows what they're doing does for me.
I'm also going to look into Aikido Dojos and see if I have the time and money to resume study.
I'm continuing to teach myself how to play the Guitar, and I'm proud to say that I'm a little bit better every time I put the guitar back down again.
I'm also getting out and hanging out with people more. Which is something that has taken a huge hit since I left Japan.
Man, looking back at what I've written it's not anything like I thought it would be when I started. I had some cool not-me things I wanted to segway into.
Oh well, I'll just ge them next time.
I mean, that's what most blogs are, and that's why most of them are...well, not boring but -interchangeable. Most people aren't boring, not when you get to know them at least, but people are often interchangeable.
The other big problem I have with talking about oneself is that it's easy to become unable to talk about anything else. And I can't stand that. It's why I don't like most Woody Allen movies, there all just huge self-portraits, and no matter how expertly you paint him, Woody Allen is an ugly, wormy, whiny dude.
But at least he has his talent and craftsmanship to mitigate how annoying he is.
And finally, I really don't like talking about myself because I think telling people what to think of you is worse than a waste of time. People say "I'm really nit-picky" or "I'm always doing that"
Self-descriptions don't have much of a point, or at least they don't have their intended point. Statements that intend to instruct people on how they should see the speaker fail. You can tell someone how you perceive yourself, but you can't tell people how to see you. Or at least I think you shouldn't.
In short, I think you should often just let yourself speak for itself.
That being said I'm going to suppress my 'don't talk about myself' impulse, for a bit and give a run-down of how I'm doing and what's going on with me. And maybe you will read it and give a damn.
Ladies and gentlemen, the state of our Llyw-nion is one of recovery.
2007 sucked. I left Japan, feeling strong and got socked in the gut for my overconfidence.
2008 began with a repeat of the same arc as 2007 but this time over a four-day-timespan. But I do think I came out of things wiser than I went into them.
I stopped working in Pike Place Market and started working for Big Fish Games at about the halfway point of this year. This was a big positive change.
Not that the Market wasn't cool, mind you, it was. But it's was never a permanent thing, and it had gone on more than long enough.
So I came to work for Big Fish, it's been a bit over four months and I've been hired on full-time. I did really well at first, then hit a rough patch in September and now I'm hitting my stride again, In fact I think that I may be performing better than ever.
Which is a relief, because honestly, my life has been too much about my job lately. It's so easy to get caught up in your job, I think, and then distract yourself when you're away from it with shiny objects the distract you from the fact that you're choosing your job over the things you really want.
But this is the first job I've ever had that actually has a career attached to it. Americorps was cool, but you can only do it for two years, and while I would have dug working at Tempest I had a lot of growing up to do before I would have been a true asset there, and while I was off doing it Tempest collapsed.
Japan was awesome, but ECC was not a tenable career. While there are things that I enjoyed and valued about that job, I remember how fed up with it I was by the time I left, I can only imagine what another two years would have done to me. And coming back has given me a lot of perspecive.
The Market was crazy, quirky, and taught me things I didn't expect to learn. But there are shop-boys and boys who happen to work in shops for the time being, and from the begining it was understood that I was the latter.
So now I have a job that is less of a place to tread water and more of a path to walk down. I don't how far it will take me, but it's nice to see it extend out to the horizon.
And, as my grandmother likes to say, money is always consoling.
Now that I feel like I'm doing well enough at work to feel safe turning my attention to other matters, I do see that I've gained a good position to make progress in other fields and on other goals.
So I'm making myself write more. I plan to post on this blog at least once a week in either English or Japanese.
I'm going to either take advantage of the cheap gym membership I get from working at Big Fish and see what a regular excercise menu written up with the help of someone who knows what they're doing does for me.
I'm also going to look into Aikido Dojos and see if I have the time and money to resume study.
I'm continuing to teach myself how to play the Guitar, and I'm proud to say that I'm a little bit better every time I put the guitar back down again.
I'm also getting out and hanging out with people more. Which is something that has taken a huge hit since I left Japan.
Man, looking back at what I've written it's not anything like I thought it would be when I started. I had some cool not-me things I wanted to segway into.
Oh well, I'll just ge them next time.
Sunday, June 8, 2008
新たの始まり
ああー久しぶりの日記だな。
月曜日（６月２日） 僕の新しい仕事が 始まった。 Big Fish Gamesって言う ゲーム社でな。 とりあえず、僕はCustomer Support Representative －困ったお客さんをE-mailで手伝う人-、でも 新しい日本部に転向したい。 実はめんせつした仕事 は日本語Customer Supportだった、 でも 僕の漢字や敬語や丁寧語は今、物足りない見たい。
それでも Big Fish Gamesで働くのは凄く楽しい、皆は若くって親切な人。 皆は真面目なのに硬くない雰囲気だ。 僕にとってぴたりかな。
でも僕、何か用心深いだ。 ミスして、いいチャンスをなくさないようにかな。
まっ、頑張ったらどうになってもこうかいは無い。
月曜日（６月２日） 僕の新しい仕事が 始まった。 Big Fish Gamesって言う ゲーム社でな。 とりあえず、僕はCustomer Support Representative －困ったお客さんをE-mailで手伝う人-、でも 新しい日本部に転向したい。 実はめんせつした仕事 は日本語Customer Supportだった、 でも 僕の漢字や敬語や丁寧語は今、物足りない見たい。
それでも Big Fish Gamesで働くのは凄く楽しい、皆は若くって親切な人。 皆は真面目なのに硬くない雰囲気だ。 僕にとってぴたりかな。
でも僕、何か用心深いだ。 ミスして、いいチャンスをなくさないようにかな。
まっ、頑張ったらどうになってもこうかいは無い。
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
A teaser...
I have always felt a profound dislike for Woody Allen and his work.
He irritates me, because he can't stop whining about himself. But if that were all of it he wouldn't irriatate me as much; I'd just ignore him.
He irritates me, because he can't stop whining about himself. But if that were all of it he wouldn't irriatate me as much; I'd just ignore him.
Sunday, December 30, 2007
-To bad rubbish.
2007 is at it's close and its time for the trite retrospective.
I'd like to say that the past year as been on the whole a good one. With some difficulties, sure, but progress was made and I'm better off at the end than I was at the beginning.
I'd like to say that, but it's a lie.
2007 pretty much sucked for me from the moment the ball dropped in times square. I didn't know it at the time but the juice had started running on my student loans and by the time I did know there was around seven-hundred bucks worth of juice on a few months worth of loan payments. And the only reason I found out about it was a prospective landlord let me know that a black mark on my credit was keeping me from an apartment. So that plus the month of not having a home kinda did in my savings from Japan. And that basically set the tone for the year to come.
Lotsa suck, some of it my own fault, some of it not.
Not that there haven't been good things this year, there certainly have. But I feel like those things are less a result of my efforts and more a result of being in the right place at the right time. I don't feel like even my best efforts in 2007 amounted to much. I'm not gonna let 2008 be like that. I'm going to find what I want and go out and get it, and maybe I had to slog though all this bullshit to come to that realization. I'll drink to that.
Yeah, so here's to 2007, and all the things in it that we'll be glad to see the end of.
I propose a toast-
I'd like to say that the past year as been on the whole a good one. With some difficulties, sure, but progress was made and I'm better off at the end than I was at the beginning.
I'd like to say that, but it's a lie.
2007 pretty much sucked for me from the moment the ball dropped in times square. I didn't know it at the time but the juice had started running on my student loans and by the time I did know there was around seven-hundred bucks worth of juice on a few months worth of loan payments. And the only reason I found out about it was a prospective landlord let me know that a black mark on my credit was keeping me from an apartment. So that plus the month of not having a home kinda did in my savings from Japan. And that basically set the tone for the year to come.
Lotsa suck, some of it my own fault, some of it not.
Not that there haven't been good things this year, there certainly have. But I feel like those things are less a result of my efforts and more a result of being in the right place at the right time. I don't feel like even my best efforts in 2007 amounted to much. I'm not gonna let 2008 be like that. I'm going to find what I want and go out and get it, and maybe I had to slog though all this bullshit to come to that realization. I'll drink to that.
Yeah, so here's to 2007, and all the things in it that we'll be glad to see the end of.
I propose a toast-
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